Jamie, je t'aime

Dear Jamie,
Let’s meet up by the red telephone booth at the corner of Madison and Grand
From there we can go to our favorite Deli,
where we can eat French fries dipped in lots of ketchup and mayonnaise

“What will you do when you graduate?” ask I.

“Move into Osaka, and watch the Sakura trees blossom.”
“Or enroll to an Ivy League university, so that after I graduate, I can apply to a prestigious company and get handsome salary.”
“Or perhaps I’ll go to Tibet, and becoming a monk.”
“But I’m always curious to try joining the United Nations Volunteers and helping Darfur refugees.”

“But definitely not staying here, because my dreams are too big for this town.”

Oh wait, I hold my breath, why didn’t you tell me that before?

Because Jamie,
I always picture you as someone who I have always wanted to share my life with,
Who will hold my hands and hug me close whenever I needed familiar warmth,
Who will be the first person I see each morning when I wake up.

Can’t you see Jamie,
That’s always the way I feel about you and me.

What Christine Brown Should Do to Avoid Being Dragged to Hell

Christine Brown has a good job, a great boyfriend, and a bright future. But in three days, she's going to hell.

Unless, of course, if she put her coat – including the removed button – for sale in eBay for a mere dollar the morning after being attacked by Mrs. Sylvia Ganush, that old and vicious gypsy woman (so it will sell in less than 3 days). But even if she can’t auction her old coat in the internet, she can still sell it to a thrift shop right away after being attacked the night before.

You see, just like the story itself reveals only tens of minutes afterwards, Christine offers the supposedly-enveloped-button to his conniving coworker Stu Rubin in order to divert the curse of Lamia to him. When this didn’t work because in the very last minute she decided to back off of the evil plan, all she has to do next is to sell her brown coat to any thrift shop together with her jewelries and ice-skating shoes, and make sure – verbally and, if needed, in writings – that she hands over the rights of ownership to the shop-owner (to which he/she has to express agreement upon) or to the subsequent unsuspicious buyer.

And then, voila!

As fast as snapping your fingers, Christine will be freed of the curse of Lamia.

Such a devilish plan, you said?

What the heck! Who wants to get burned in hell for eternity anyway?