Rambut Lego

Semakin panjang rambutku, akan semakin lama waktu yang kubutuhkan di depan cermin setiap pagi, sebelum berangkat keluar rumah. Tujuannya, bukan sekedar kegenitan mematut-matut diri, tapi untuk merapihkan rambut, atau untuk mengaturnya agar tampak sesuai dengan kostum yang dikenakan hari itu. Maksudnya, kalau sekedar pakai t-shirt dan jeans doang, ya dibuat sedikit acak-acakan seperti orang yang baru bangun tidur langsung berganti baju dan keluar rumah, tak mengapa; tapi kalau sedang ada schedule khusus dan musti tampil rapi karena harus bertemu klien atau dinner di tempat-tempat eksklusif bersama pasangan, tentu saja penataannya juga harus disesuaikan.

Namun belakangan ini jarang sekali aku bisa mengatur tatanan rambut sesuai keinginan dengan cepat dan mudah. Masalah utama adalah karena kondisi rambutku yang kering dan kasar, sama sekali bukan tipe yang layak untuk dijadikan model iklan shampoo. Mungkin saja ini akibat pengaruh sejak zaman dahulu kala, selalu berpanas-panas nyaris tak pernah pakai topi ketika sedang melakukan aktivitas di luar ruangan, dan paling malas merawat rambut di salon, karena di kamar mandi pribadi saja benda yang namanya conditioner itu lebih sering tidak ada.

Jadi teringat salah satu foto jaman masih kanak-kanak dulu, rambutku yang ikal (curly & wavy) bila dibiarkan tumbuh panjang akan mengembang sedemikian rupa, sehingga apabila dilihat dari jarak jauh lebih mirip pentul korek api atau seorang anak yang sedang mengenakan helm. Bahkan di awal tahun sembilanpuluhan, ketika sedang berkunjung ke rumah Kakek dan Nenek, salah seorang kerabat jauh mengira bahwa anak kecil yang sedang ribut pukul-pukulan dengan seorang anak lainnya di hadapannya saat itu adalah seorang anak perempuan tomboy, berkat kondisi rambut yang megar mengembang membahana. Padahal anak kecil yang ribut itu aku. Ugh!

Tadi pagi, sebelum akhirnya berangkat menuju kantor, kuputuskan untuk mengatur rambut rapih saja, dengan belahan di samping kanan seperti anak sekolahan atau mereka yang bekerja di sektor formal lainnya, meskipun hari ini sebenarnya aku mengenakan t-shirt dan jeans dan sneakers. Sesungguhnya, a very casual look. Penataan rambut belah samping, sedikit berponi menutupi dahi dan teratur rapih yang seringkali kusebut sebagai model rambut Lego. Dan bila mengingat seperti apa warna aseli rambutku, tentunya gaya rambut seperti ini akan semakin membuatku tampak lebih tua lagi daripada umurku yang sesungguhnya.

Sigh.

Note: image courtesy of squarecircle.

The Pretty Face in Those Stupid YouTube Videos

I saw and walked past a strange looking guy this morning while walking to the office. He looked awful, uncombed hair, wore worn out clothes, has sunburned skin, and unshaven. Simply put, he’s a total mess. He bent down on the sidewalk and wrote on it with a piece of chalk “Effendy”. I don’t know whether he wanted to tell the passerbys his name or else, but obviously, I don’t want to find out.

I saw a strange video in YouTube this afternoon. There’s a young girl in it. Obviously, she recorded the video and uploaded it herself. She also looked like a mess, all teary and runny nose, awfully looking hair. However, one can see that she used to be pretty, even though her sandy colored hair made her look ugly and silly. She started lip-synching to Christina Aguilera’s “Hurt”, which made her cried even more. I noticed in an instant, who she really is. Her recent broke up with his boyfriend already made small ripples in tabloids and gossip shows.

Now, I don’t feel pity or sympathy to that “Effendy” guy, because my mind is too busy thinking about other things. It’s already cluttered with half-baked creative ideas for a pitch for a provider’s new campaign. And come to think of him again, I’m not even half sure that he’s a nut.

As to the the girl in the video? Why should one feel pity towards her? She knew exactly what would come upon her if public watched her videos, yet she still uploaded them to YouTube. The public love to judge others, especially performers and entertainers. And it certainly won’t help being a former child idol, a has been soap opera megastar like you. The public don’t have pity on your “kind”, who we judged as a has been, a used to be, the failed one. You know how much the public is consisted of harsh critics. So when you acting up all like that, we as the public, laughed hard. Everybody loves laughing at losers, your "kind", because that makes us feel better.

My simple advice to you, pretty face in those stupid YouTube videos: cheer up!

I still remember your - supposedly - killer looks while watching the premiere of Sex and The City The Movie, together with your friend Velove. What you really need to get through all this diminishing stardom and subsequent mental breakdown is Mariah Carey. Everyone knows how she had fallen hard from grace, and surprisingly, bounced and made a solid come back. Look at where she is now.

You see, life’s been treating you very well in your childhood and teenage years. Who knows what has been reserved for you in years to come? Just hang on there.

Oh, and one more thing. Never upload other silly videos like the ones you did before this. They’re plain stupid.

Disclaimer: The image above is not the person I'm referring to in this writing.

Because I Always

I love it when we are together
when we do things that we both love

Talking under the big tree, enjoying the breeze
your head on my shoulder, I can smell the scent of your hair
Sitting on the couch, enjoying our lattes
you tell me stories about your recent trip to europe
Leafing through a magazine, discussing the photographs and the articles
you recount the days when you're still an intern in a high profile political magazine
Playing pingpong, try to outdone each other
you look sexy when your shirt begin to stain with sweats

I just don't want to let you go
I need to hold you tight in my arms

Because I always love it
when we're doing things that we really love together

The Picnic Picture

There was an old photograph on your refrigerator pinned with a magnetic pineapple
Its colors turned to yellowish, a sure sign of years it has gone through
When I first looked at it, I thought it was the picture of Jesus and His disciples having a picnic under a big leafy tree
Because everyone in it had thick shaggy beards long wavy hair and wore some kind of long dresses
Like the robes they used to wear back then in the early years of Our Lord

But when I first saw the photograph, it was not because of what it depicted
It was because I had to divert my gaze from the kitchen window overlooking your backyard
Since I saw you getting steamy with another guy, not far from the pool we once made love inside

I know you’re no longer mine, but hey
Was it wrong if I feel jealousy looking at that scene with my very own eyes?

Bukan Kekasihku

Hari ini menandai telah 8 bulan kami saling bertemu secara eksklusif. Dan rahasia. Sifat yang disebut terakhir ini paling penting, karena kami memang perlu berupaya keras sedapat mungkin untuk mempertahankan hubungan ini tertutup, hanya diketahui oleh sesedikit mungkin orang.
Dan dari semua jenis orang yang menghirup udara kota ini, subspesies yang paling penting untuk dihindari adalah gerombolan manusia liar dengan tabiat cenderung brutal yang berani menamai diri wartawan infotainment.
“Cis! Berani-beraninya menyebut diri wartawan, padahal mereka tak mengerti apapun tentang kode etik jurnalisme!” demikian desisnya padaku suatu kali, ketika dalam satu kesempatan nyaris terpergok sedang berjalan bersama denganku.
Itulah sebabnya kami sekarang lebih ketat dalam mengatur pertemuan, harus selalu dengan pengaturan-pengaturan khusus. Tidak bisa langsung berjanji bertemu di satu tempat ketika ingin bersua.
Semua karena sosoknya yang terlalu banyak dikenali di kota ini. Padahal ia harus menjaga status sosialnya demi mempertahankan nama baik keluarga yang sudah terkemuka bahkan sejak bangsa ini belum merdeka. Sedangkan aku harus mempertahankan posisiku di perusahaan raksasa ini, yang terlanjur memanjakanku dengan terlalu banyak kenyamanan.
Aku sebenarnya benci bersandiwara, tak pernah kuanggap diriku bisa, tapi demi hubungan kami terjaga, harus kupaksa.
Itulah sebabnya setiap kali mendapatkan undangan untuk menghadiri acara-acara sosialita, harus kubertanya terlebih dulu padanya. Barangkali saja dia akan turut hadir di sana.
Kami sama-sama menyadari, keberadaan kami dalam rentangan jarak yang terlalu dekat bisa jadi berbahaya. Karena kedua tubuh kami bagaikan dua kutub magnet berbeda, yang dengan kekuatan luar biasa akan saling tarik, ingin menyatukan diri bersama. Daripada tertangkap basah sedang bercumbu di sudut-sudut gelap dan tersembunyi yang seringkali susah menemukannya, lebih baik kami saling menghindar, menahan dorongan jasmani.
Itulah sebabnya sekarang kami lebih akrab dengan sudut-sudut tua dan kelam kota ini, yang lebih menjamin reklusifitas bila dibandingkan dengan klab malam manapun di Selatan.
“Sampai kapan sih kita harus begini terus?”, pernah kubertanya saat ia masih dalam pelukanku. Buliran keringat yang tadinya membasahi punggungnya belum kering benar.
“Sampai aku mengatakan, ‘This is it. This is our time.’” sahutnya dengan suara pelan sedikit mendesah.
Aku tahu dia pasti sudah setengah jalan menuju kelelapan tidur. Tak apa, aku suka memeluknya saat ia tidur. Kulitnya lembut dan rambutnya selalu wangi terjaga. Mengantarkanku sendiri kepada nyenyak. Setiap kali usai bercinta dengannya, aku selalu bisa terlelap dengan mudah, dan mendapatkan mimpi indah. Sayang sekali waktu semacam ini tidak pernah bisa kami nikmati lebih lama daripada satu malam dalam setiap pertemuan.
Karena ia harus menjaga status sosialnya, dan aku dengan posisi di perusahaan multinasional itu.
Hidup lebih sering tidak bisa memberikan segala hal yang kamu inginkan.

Fell In Love With Gorgeous

We were holding hands while walking down the lane together
People stared but we just did not care
Sometimes they talked in audible voices and sometimes they only whispered
But something like this had little importance to us so we did not consider it as burden to bear

Because I fell in love with a Gorgeous Guy
Fell in love once and almost completely
We are so much in love with this world,
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading

He was standing near the window
Watching the city's nightscene, the lights were bright red and neon yellow
He turned to look at me sitting on the bed looking back at him and asked,
"Are you alright, dear?"
I smiled back and said,
"I must be fine because my heart's still beating."

Stood on a stony riverbank cutting through the valley
Stripped down to the skin, we jumped from the dock falling to the river's stream
The water felt icy cold but hugging Gorgeous Guy sparked the fire within
In a low husky voice he said,
"Come closer and kiss me. Amy says it's fine, she doesn't consider it cheating."

Jet black short hair with a curl, mellow roll for the flavor,
The eyes were peeping, white teeth shown between your parting lips glistening
Knew I can not keep away from this Gorgeous Guy
Oh, how these two sides of my brain need to have a meeting

Can't think of anything to do
My left brain knows that all love is fleeting
He is just looking for something new,
and I said it once before but it bears repeating

Don't go telling no more
Don't go telling no more lies on Amy

But I found it hard to face up

Because I fell in love with a Gorgeous Guy
Fell in love once and almost completely
We are so much in love with this world,
But sometimes these feeling can be inadvertently misleading

{mostly inspired and freely adapted from the lyrics of The White Stripe's "Fell in Love With a Girl"}