The Pretty Face in Those Stupid YouTube Videos

I saw and walked past a strange looking guy this morning while walking to the office. He looked awful, uncombed hair, wore worn out clothes, has sunburned skin, and unshaven. Simply put, he’s a total mess. He bent down on the sidewalk and wrote on it with a piece of chalk “Effendy”. I don’t know whether he wanted to tell the passerbys his name or else, but obviously, I don’t want to find out.

I saw a strange video in YouTube this afternoon. There’s a young girl in it. Obviously, she recorded the video and uploaded it herself. She also looked like a mess, all teary and runny nose, awfully looking hair. However, one can see that she used to be pretty, even though her sandy colored hair made her look ugly and silly. She started lip-synching to Christina Aguilera’s “Hurt”, which made her cried even more. I noticed in an instant, who she really is. Her recent broke up with his boyfriend already made small ripples in tabloids and gossip shows.

Now, I don’t feel pity or sympathy to that “Effendy” guy, because my mind is too busy thinking about other things. It’s already cluttered with half-baked creative ideas for a pitch for a provider’s new campaign. And come to think of him again, I’m not even half sure that he’s a nut.

As to the the girl in the video? Why should one feel pity towards her? She knew exactly what would come upon her if public watched her videos, yet she still uploaded them to YouTube. The public love to judge others, especially performers and entertainers. And it certainly won’t help being a former child idol, a has been soap opera megastar like you. The public don’t have pity on your “kind”, who we judged as a has been, a used to be, the failed one. You know how much the public is consisted of harsh critics. So when you acting up all like that, we as the public, laughed hard. Everybody loves laughing at losers, your "kind", because that makes us feel better.

My simple advice to you, pretty face in those stupid YouTube videos: cheer up!

I still remember your - supposedly - killer looks while watching the premiere of Sex and The City The Movie, together with your friend Velove. What you really need to get through all this diminishing stardom and subsequent mental breakdown is Mariah Carey. Everyone knows how she had fallen hard from grace, and surprisingly, bounced and made a solid come back. Look at where she is now.

You see, life’s been treating you very well in your childhood and teenage years. Who knows what has been reserved for you in years to come? Just hang on there.

Oh, and one more thing. Never upload other silly videos like the ones you did before this. They’re plain stupid.

Disclaimer: The image above is not the person I'm referring to in this writing.

Kok Bisa Yaaa ... ?

Kebetulan saja lagi tinggi hasrat bergosipnya hari ini.

Kebetulan kemarin abis bangun pagi instead of mandi, aku leyeh-leyeh dulu di kasur sambil nonton TV. No particular channel or program sih yang dilihat. Just flipping through channels.

Nah, kebetulan saja pas di salah satu kanal, sedang ada gossip selebriti a.k.a. acara infotainment. Sebenarnya pas baru liat orang yang dijadikan pembahasan, sempat males ngelanjutin nontonnya. Tapi entah kenapa saat itu I stay put. Dan kabar yang kemudian kudengar, membuatku sangat terkejut (alias shocking news!).

Ternyata si selebriti mediocre (untuk tidak menyebut dirinya artis, karena ya emang menurutku ga pantes aja, sebab sepanjang pengetahuanku yang bersangkutan ga ada kemampuan art-nya sama sekali) yang sedang dikerubutin wartawan ini lagi diinterview untuk sebuah prestasinya (tumben banget). Biasanya sih, si selebriti mediocre ini kan dirubung wartawan gossip kalau ada kasus (negatif) baru yang menyeret maupun membawa-bawa namanya.
Masih pada ingat dong, sebelumnya si selebriti mediocre ini sempat ”kondang” lagi namanya di infotainment lewat skandal tersebarnya foto-foto yang bersangkutan di bawah shower sedang telanjang bul-bul bersama her sister (sempat dikomentari oleh seorang ”pakar” telematika berinisial R.S. sebagai foto aseli bukan rekayasa) sambil berpose sensual dan terbuka. Persisnya bagaimana, silahkan googling sendiri saja ya.

Ternyata untuk kali ini aku keliru sungguh.
Si selebriti ini kembali masuk radar pemberitaan infotainment, karena dia baru saja diwisuda dan resmi memegang gelar Sarjana Ilmu Politik dari Jurusan Hubungan Internasional, Universitas Paramadina.
Tak tanggung-tanggung, skripsinya yang mengulas hubungan diplomatik Republik Indonesia dengan Timor Leste terkait kerjasama perbatasan, berhasil mengantarkan sang selebriti lulus dengan nilai akhir tiga koma empat tujuh.
Yap, betul sekali. Kamu tidak salah baca. IPK-nya benar 3.47. Artinya, nyaris mendekati limit minimal untuk lulus dengan pujian (cum laude).

Sempat aku bertanya-tanya, apakah selama ini aku terlalu memandang rendah si selebriti terkait tingkat intelektualitasnya?
Berhubung aku pernah bekerjasama dengan si selebriti ini, dan dari hasil perbincanganku dengan salah satu teman dekat yang adalah juga saudara sepupunya si selebriti, dapat ditarik kesimpulan bahwa sebenarnya dia relatif kurang tanggap dalam soal keilmuan (ini adalah eufemisme). Mungkin karena dia susah atau kurang berkonsentrasi saja selama ini (sekali lagi, eufemisme). Itulah sebabnya, mendengar kabar infotainment kalau yang bersangkutan lulus nyaris cum laude, bagiku benar-benar menjadi surprise yang shocking.

Wow! Masih bisa kuingat, beberapa orang teman yang aku tahu persis otaknya berlabirin banyak alias pintar banget, sempat dibuat jungkir balik di almamater untuk bisa meraih IPK tiga koma empatpuluhan.
Aku sendiri juga sempat dibuat tidak bisa tidur demi nilai rata-rata tiga koma empat sekian itu. Dan mendengar si selebriti yang bisa meraih indeks prestasi kumulatif lebih tinggi daripada yang kudapatkan ketika lulus, rasanya hati ini dibakar rasa iri dan tak bisa menerima keampuhan otak orang lain. Huh! Kok bisa-bisanya ya dia?

Dari awalnya rasa iri, kemudian malah jadi timbul kecurigaan (namanya juga lagi niat berghibah yang kebetulan bisa diakomodir habis-habisan di sini), sebenarnya bagaimanakah standar penilaian mahasiswa di Universitas Paramadina, apabila dibandingkan dengan almamater teman-teman?
Rasanya pertanyaan ini harus kuajukan kepada seorang teman yang pernah menjadi staff pengajar di perguruan tinggi tersebut, dan kebetulan merupakan jurusan yang sama seperti yang diambil sang selebriti.

Korek-korek info dulu aaahh ...

Story Behind The Creation

Couples of years ago, from various sources of international online news services, I read that writing blog is the new trend in IT sphere. It was said that blogging regularly have many advantages. By blogging, you can improve your writing ability (of course!), make more friends, and in more recent cases, even helping out your career!

Well, at least I personally know someone who told me that he landed on his first job in Jakarta with such an unexpected help from his own blog. Even some big companies in U.S. of A. already admitted that blogging improved their brand image and boasted up sales, while at the same time they can get in touch personally with their consumers.
That was why all top executives in those companies go blogging, responding to every comment posted by their customers and people who visited their blog. Even Bill Gates, one of the very richest persons in the world, writes his own blog!

That’s why I started blogging in 2005, using then recently launched blog service from Friendster. Since I thought I have deep passion for creative writing, I didn’t see any damage could be done by posting my writings online. At least, I found a new medium to justify my narcissist-self. Ha! Ha!

Blogging was fun, until later in June of the same year, someone told me that some of my postings has stirred some gossips around The Neighborhood. People started talking, asking questions behind my back.

“Does he …?”
“But I thought …”
“Is he …?”
“That means for all this time he was …”

Even a friend from the buzzing Neighborhood felt some kind of obligation to ask me about the real meaning behind my writings posted on my blog.

“People are talking, you know. About you and what you’ve posted. They asked me whether I could confirm any of them. They’re curious. Because they thought for all this time you and I were into something.” (yeah, right! *rolling eyes*)

“Oh really? That’s good. That’s the reason I blogged. Even though at first I don’t think anyone would ever read them. But you know what? I feel quite happy now you’ve told me that. I mean, my writings are ‘that good’, right? That’s actually my intention posting them online. They were written and posted for one’s reading,” replied I (*compiled answers*). However I thought I just sounded defensive, didn’t I?

Munching the Mexican-style spicy grilled chicken breast, I tried to keep an emotionless face even though my mind was thinking hard. “That means I have to write more, but in a calmer tone. Gosh, I can’t wait!”

But then what was really happened back then was that I spent doing everything I could but write new materials and posted them online. Until one time near midnight when I was hanging around The Neighborhood with Bradley.

“I read your blog,” he said. “And I was wondering, why on earth you could be so open about you and still relax. I mean, you seem don’t have any hesitation revealing everything about you online. Because if I were you, I won’t be able to do things like that. I mean, with all those folks around this Neighborhood. I just won’t feel comfortable after posting things like the ones you wrote.”

He kept talking about me and my blog, trying hard to convince me that I’m that obvious, unlike his discreet personality; but all he said failed to catch my attention. My mind seemed automatically shut itself off of this topic.
“You’re not listening”, he protested. I just laughed, which made him stood and left me.

About a week later, Mr. Talent Guy of The Neighborhood, on a lunch gathering, suddenly asked me about my blog’s content. Since I don’t expect him as someone who’ll read my blog, it was like setting off an alarm to me.

“That’s it. They’re circulating some stories about me among them. Somehow, it makes me feel uneasy. Maybe I should quit writing anything that’ll bring up some issues on me.”

That was why I stopped blogging, and even went further by deleting the whole blog, yanked it off online.

Until Bradley brought it up again. “Why did you stop writing? I thought you enjoyed it. Thought we shared the same passion, that is writing.”

And others, I thought, but hey, that’s another story!

And he surely made me think: “I shouldn’t let anyone stop me from writing. I shouldn’t listen to them, to whatever they said about me. I love writing creatively. If I let anyone ever stand in my way like I did these past months, I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of my life.”

Which led to the creating of Life in The Time of Butterflies. This blog, that is.

Will There Be Enough for You?

Would not there be enough for you?
Such an egoistic self-centered girl who lives in constant state of delirium.

Would not there be enough for you?
Not only have you ruined your life with your neurotic psychological condition,
you also want other people to jump off of the edge of sanity with you.

Would not there be enough for you?
Becoming a pathological liar could not satisfy your gargantuan ego;
creating extravagant stories spreading unimaginable lies has become your self-destructive habit.

Would not there be enough for you?
Saying you only need friendship from me,
but all the things you have done only reflected your needs for more and more than just that.

Would not there be enough for you?
You told me how you lose so many close friends back then;
and accusing them of intended refusal to understand you,
even abandoning you, stranded alone in the desert of loneliness and hopelessness,
but now it seem to me that you were the one who scared them away with your attitude.

Would not there be enough for you?
It scared me how you laughed off and ignored all suggestions from your close friends who are just a few left still standing beside you, trying to help you keep a firm grip on reality.

Would not there be enough for you?
When I asked you to stop doing things that only made me feel cheap and caused people gossiping I used you for my own good,
you responded in such an impolite manner accusing me of becoming a high-nosed ungrateful guy.

Would not there be enough for you?
When I told you "friends don't kiss" and “sex is the fastest way to ruin friendship” but for that single occurrence I had you forgiven.
But all you did in return was spreading stories that you had made it out with me at different times and on different places.

Would not there be enough for you?
You still have your little princess beside you, who still needs you so much;
instead you ignored her for other things you could not have and never will.

So I asked you once again,
Will there be enough for you?




{ Original version of Will There Be Enough For You? was originally posted on my now defunct Friendster’s blog on March 24th, 2006, as the fourth part of The Anti-Malicious Girl Campaign 2006 }

What ?! Who?! Me?! Jealous?! Huh?!?

Last weekend, while I and some close friends were hanging out sipping lattes at our favorite café, Bradley – whom I oftenly refer to as Gorgeous Bee – told me a surprising juicy gossip about this certain woman.

The freakishly mad woman, I should say.

He said she told him that I am jealous of her intimacy towards Delon Thamrin and Evan Sanders.

Oh My Goodness!
I’m jealous of who … ?!?!

Ha! Ha! Ha!
That was the most stupid gossip about me I have ever heard. So far.

I knew that she knew them since they were nobody (or so she said).
And yes, I also knew that she was there when they finally made it to stardom (again, so she said).

But witnessing her dangling around those two pretty boys when they already have so many people, especially pretty chicks, orbiting around them, moreover when she acted like one of those groupies, with eyes glimmered with hope that any of those two guys would pay any special attention to her, really made me sick.

Because to me, by acting like that she made herself looked very pathetic.
She made a fool out of herself. And out of me ...

Because she asked me to accompany her to those occasions when we met both guys, and considering that that was the least a good friend can do, I agreed.
But to see her lour herself as one of those groupies, really turned things worse.

I thought, “You can do that whenever, wherever, and in any which way you like, woman. But one thing for certain, you were not supposed to do that while you’re with me.”

And then after the said incidents, I told her that.
But I didn’t tell her that seeing her acting like that made me feel really sorry for her.
Because to me, and perhaps also to others, that made her look ridiculous silly.
And I just don't want to fall pity for her.

Because I know if I played honesty to her, by telling her the real reason, it would hurt her more.
Like she usually accused me of.
Like she had always believed I did those certain things in purpose.

Girl, how can you be so stupid?

Because if you read this now, you would find honesty in such a way I believe it will hurt your feeling even more.

I will tell you here and now and just for this once, so please pay attention closely:
I never feel jealous of you and your ‘so-called-intimate-relations’ with that out-of-tune Delon, or that overtly-self-conscious Evan, or even to our mutual friend, Gorgeous Bradley, whom told me this thing about you which gave the idea to this writing.

Never. Feel. Jealous.

Not yesteryear.
Not yesterday.
Not now.
Not tomorrow.
Not even in a million years.

I just hope – after reading this writing – you would stop make a fool out of yourself.




{ Original article of What?! Who?! Me?! Jealous?! Huh?!? was originally posted online in my now defunct Friendster’s blog under the title of Who?! Me?! Jealous?! Huh?! on March 14th, 2006, as a second part of The Anti-Malicious Girl Campaign 2006 }