Wednesday, May 14, 2008

By the Power of Schopenhauer

First thing first, I don't really know whether I spell the name mentioned above in the title of this writing correctly or not, or whether the name really does exist in psychology.
Noticed the name while watching the impressive La Vita é Bella, when Ferruccio explained to Guido about the power of one’s will of mind, by referring to a state of mind when a certain person can make other person do what the first person tell the other one to do (hopefully you won’t be confused with this statement, eh?).
At first I just thought Roberto Benigni made that up for his movie, but somehow it looks fun if I have the ability to do so, just like what he told his friend in such a believable way, therefore the Schopenhauer method somehow successfully clung in my mind for so long.

And so that was how I tested it by applying the so-called Schopenhauer method to the course of events that occurred over this month of June.

About a couple of weekends ago, somehow I kept thinking of my loverboy Marc Miguel Morales. He's not a real loverboy as you think he is (or was). He's just someone I befriended with for almost four years now, virtually. Oh, not the four years that's been virtual, but the friendship is.
Marc and I, we shared secrets and thoughts, even the forbidden ones. He kind of helped me with good advices on my relations with girls back then at university's years, and I helped him with problems with the guys he fell in love with. We talked about sex much, but of course with different preferences and point of interest. Or views. That depends.
Anyway, our communications were so intense but suddenly cut out the moment I started working at a TV station earlier last year. He still dropped messages once in a while but I just don't have time to reply as much as I usually did, so it made sense that the last time I heard from him was in April 2004.
Back to this story and to the early point of my writing, couple of weekends ago he suddenly burst into my mind again, and somehow it made me feel sick. Of myself by ignoring him back then. Missed him so much I decided the first thing I want to do at the office next Monday morning was to drop him a line or two.
So, it's the Monday morning and I arrived early for that matter, around 8 a.m., an hour earlier than the usual office-hours. Prepared a cup of hot chocolate and a strawberry toast beside my computer. Logged in.
And there I found in my mailbox, the sweetest name that came up into my mind the day before, Marc. My loverboy. It's like a coincidence. Smiled sheepishly and happily, suddenly I realized that it was this much how I missed him.
Boy, he desperately needs updates on my life, since he asked me whether I still meet Tora Sudiro on regular basis. He must've been thinking that I still worked in that TV station, hahaha ... Kinda feel guilt, though.
So I replied his e-mail and promised him that I'll send him a very long one that will keep him updated with my current situation.
In which I haven't done up until this moment. Maybe later.
But I feel thankful to find my loverboy again. Told me he has graduated from uni earlier this year and now searching for a job. Said he visits gym regularly and now he's starting to have six-packs. Said he's now looking for a boyfriend. Well, if he stands in front of me now, I would really like to say to him, "I'm your boyfriend! You have me all this time!" (oh, I know this kind of statement will shocked some of my friends, but I believe a few of them won't *wink!*)

Almost the same thing happened with Kiki.
While vacationing over the long weekend in Bandung which I extended until Tuesday, I suddenly thought about her and regretted myself by accidentally erased her cell number. Decided that coming Wednesday, I will launch an e-mail calling every HIlander98 to search and find any news about friends that we haven't heard of over the year before.
And there the Schopenhauer effect happened again !
While watching Mr. & Mrs. Smith at CiWalk 21 together with my nephew, suddenly my cell vibrated in my pocket. A missed-call.
I hate it when people do that. It's bugging me.
But about five minutes later my cell vibrated again and this one was a text message. Didn't recognize the number but surprised to read the sender's name. It's from Kiki !
She asked me how I am doing and where I worked now. Yes, I do miss her, because she was a friend I got quite close with back in university's years.
She was one of the Las Mujeres de Los Bordillos (free translation : the carefree girls of Los Bordillos :-D) I have mentioned in my Friendster's profile that I would like to meet, again. Glad to know that she's doing fine in Palembang.

Now, what I regretted from the Schopenhauer method is that it doesn't happened over me and Greg (with a little significant similarities with the one in Dharma & Greg), eventhough I missed the first night spent with him, talking almost about everything (well, I'm not into his admiration of Punjabi's soap operas' stars and his unfinished grumbling on how I ruined his diet by making him drink a glass of iced chocolate after 9 p.m.), looking eagerly forward for repetitions.
Nor with "the SexxxY BeasT" (I have to drop a message before he give me a call, that selfish prick!) who can easily make my heart (and meat :-D) throbbed.
Nor with Charlie whom reminds me of a Chinese version of Jason Tedjasukmana. What is he doing Down Under while he has many guys who love him so much back here in J-town ?
Was it because somehow in which I did not really understand the rationale, the nature – and therefore, my will of mind – forbid me in getting in touch again with those guys?

Or perhaps, I must try harder to concentrate on the Schopenhauer thing ...

Come again, what was Guido's friend advised him to do to Schopenhauer-ing easier?
Was it by flapping fingers? Or mumbling the name? Hmm ...

Let me try : Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer, ...

Note from writer:
The original version of By The Power of Schopenhauer was posted online in my first blog, LoveHateDreamsLifeWorkPlayFriendshipSex, on June 22nd, 2005.
Hardly I had known back then that Arthur Schopenhauer and his metaphysical theory really did exist in history as a critique to Immanuel Kant’s theory.
This version you just finished reading is mostly based on the original version with some minor alterations, notably dictions and inter-paragraphs fragmentations.

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