Friday, June 20, 2008

Story Behind The Creation

Couples of years ago, from various sources of international online news services, I read that writing blog is the new trend in IT sphere. It was said that blogging regularly have many advantages. By blogging, you can improve your writing ability (of course!), make more friends, and in more recent cases, even helping out your career!

Well, at least I personally know someone who told me that he landed on his first job in Jakarta with such an unexpected help from his own blog. Even some big companies in U.S. of A. already admitted that blogging improved their brand image and boasted up sales, while at the same time they can get in touch personally with their consumers.
That was why all top executives in those companies go blogging, responding to every comment posted by their customers and people who visited their blog. Even Bill Gates, one of the very richest persons in the world, writes his own blog!

That’s why I started blogging in 2005, using then recently launched blog service from Friendster. Since I thought I have deep passion for creative writing, I didn’t see any damage could be done by posting my writings online. At least, I found a new medium to justify my narcissist-self. Ha! Ha!

Blogging was fun, until later in June of the same year, someone told me that some of my postings has stirred some gossips around The Neighborhood. People started talking, asking questions behind my back.

“Does he …?”
“But I thought …”
“Is he …?”
“That means for all this time he was …”

Even a friend from the buzzing Neighborhood felt some kind of obligation to ask me about the real meaning behind my writings posted on my blog.

“People are talking, you know. About you and what you’ve posted. They asked me whether I could confirm any of them. They’re curious. Because they thought for all this time you and I were into something.” (yeah, right! *rolling eyes*)

“Oh really? That’s good. That’s the reason I blogged. Even though at first I don’t think anyone would ever read them. But you know what? I feel quite happy now you’ve told me that. I mean, my writings are ‘that good’, right? That’s actually my intention posting them online. They were written and posted for one’s reading,” replied I (*compiled answers*). However I thought I just sounded defensive, didn’t I?

Munching the Mexican-style spicy grilled chicken breast, I tried to keep an emotionless face even though my mind was thinking hard. “That means I have to write more, but in a calmer tone. Gosh, I can’t wait!”

But then what was really happened back then was that I spent doing everything I could but write new materials and posted them online. Until one time near midnight when I was hanging around The Neighborhood with Bradley.

“I read your blog,” he said. “And I was wondering, why on earth you could be so open about you and still relax. I mean, you seem don’t have any hesitation revealing everything about you online. Because if I were you, I won’t be able to do things like that. I mean, with all those folks around this Neighborhood. I just won’t feel comfortable after posting things like the ones you wrote.”

He kept talking about me and my blog, trying hard to convince me that I’m that obvious, unlike his discreet personality; but all he said failed to catch my attention. My mind seemed automatically shut itself off of this topic.
“You’re not listening”, he protested. I just laughed, which made him stood and left me.

About a week later, Mr. Talent Guy of The Neighborhood, on a lunch gathering, suddenly asked me about my blog’s content. Since I don’t expect him as someone who’ll read my blog, it was like setting off an alarm to me.

“That’s it. They’re circulating some stories about me among them. Somehow, it makes me feel uneasy. Maybe I should quit writing anything that’ll bring up some issues on me.”

That was why I stopped blogging, and even went further by deleting the whole blog, yanked it off online.

Until Bradley brought it up again. “Why did you stop writing? I thought you enjoyed it. Thought we shared the same passion, that is writing.”

And others, I thought, but hey, that’s another story!

And he surely made me think: “I shouldn’t let anyone stop me from writing. I shouldn’t listen to them, to whatever they said about me. I love writing creatively. If I let anyone ever stand in my way like I did these past months, I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of my life.”

Which led to the creating of Life in The Time of Butterflies. This blog, that is.

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